Expressing Your Concerns

Identifying signs and symptoms of mental illness

If you are worried about a friend or family member's mental health, there are warning signs to look for. If you notice any of the following behaviors, it's important to share your feelings.

Withdrawing from friends, family and activities that used to be enjoyable
Trouble concentrating, thinking or making decisions, or suddenly struggling in school
Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Inability to cope with everyday problems or stress
Anger, rage or extreme reactions that seem out of character
Feeling tired or exhausted all the time
Restless, irritable, agitated or anxious movements or behaviors
Crying often
Ceasing to care about appearance or about keeping up with personal hygiene
Reckless or impulsive behaviors such as excessive spending or risky sexual behavior
Alcohol or other drug abuse
Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
Persistent physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain that do not respond to treatment
Thoughts about death or suicide.

If someone is having suicidal thoughts, dial 988 to be connected to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.

Expressing concern to a student

If you notice that a student is showing signs of mental illness, here are a few tips to help you with the conversation.

Express your concerns in a straightforward and non-judgmental way:

Talk about specific behaviors that are worrying you. If you don’t feel comfortable approaching, it may be a good idea to share your concerns with someone closer to them.

Example: “I am worried about you. You don’t seem like yourself lately. You haven’t been eating, you’ve been sleeping a lot and not socializing like you used to. Have you thought about going to talk with someone about what’s on your mind?”

Listen to their response:

Listen with empathy and believe them. Don't dismiss their concerns. Don’t change the subject. Instead, ask them what you can do to help.

Example: “This is important. I’m listening.”
Example: “I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”

Encourage them to seek help as soon as possible:

Emphasize that treatment is available and effective. Offer to help schedule the first appointment or even go with them to get help. If they are not ready to see a clinician, provide them with information and support and refer them to local support groups.

Example: “There is hope for feeling better. Can I help you find someone to talk to about your concerns?”
Example: “I have heard good things about the counselors at CAPS.”
Example: “Can I walk with you to CAPS to see the Counselor-on-Duty?”

Be prepared for all possible reactions:

They may not react to your concern in a positive way and may deny the possibility that they could have a mental illness, become angry, or be unready to seek help.

A negative reaction is not personal. Let them know that you will be available for them if they decide to get help. It may be helpful to discuss with them specifically what is stopping them from getting treatment.

If your friend is unwilling to seek help and you are still concerned and unsure about what to do, you can contact CAPS to receive advice about the situation from a clinician.

Never keep talk of suicide a secret.

All talk of suicide needs to be taken seriously. Call 988 to talk to a mental health professional or take your friend to the U-M Psychiatric Emergency Services: (734) 936-5900. PES is located at the University Hospital, 1500 East Medical Center Drive.

Example: “We need extra help. I want to connect you with someone who can help you.”